Friday, July 12, 2024

My tip to coaches and parents? Try and take a different look upon winning

I was surfing the internet for some inspiration and found this quote. I don’t know who said it, so apologies to who did, but it is the best quote for an athlete, old or young. 

“Somewhere behind the athlete you’ve become, the hours of practice, the coaches (and parents) who push you, and the fans who cheer for you, is the little girl who fell in love with the sport and never looked back. Play for her.”

Why the brackets in the quote? That’s my addition. The role of parents is growing increasingly and becoming a factor that affects the athletes and, in my very own experience, also coaches. 

So this month I am outlining my top two pieces of advice for parents and coaches. 

Why parents? 

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Total Hockey



  1. I understand that THP is a commercial entity and that quality content is what justifies the charge for a subscription, but sometimes there’s an article that could be so much more valuable if it could be shared in its entirety with the broader hockey community. This is one of those articles. Is there anyway this can be made open access as I would love to share it across my hockey club and I know it would be well received? Maybe a loss-leader or maybe a commercial sponsor could get behind it?

    • Hi Ian

      Thanks for the note. We do share some pieces with free access to a wider audience but unfortunately we can’t keep doing this everytime!

  2. A timely article – a young player said to me today that she had never been coached /played with a team until today where they weren’t yelled at a half time, or told their place on the team was on the line etc. I was pretty astounded – I will never have a team like that – my guiding principles are that 1. the very young kids i coach will only come back if they have had a ball despite the rain, Friday night tiredness etc. It has to be fun – so it’s my job to make it fun while they are still learning and guided to play better. 2. many years ago someone said to me in another context – when was the last time you wanted to do something better when you were told you were useless. So I never say to anyone they were not very good – it’s always important to me that i encourage the good bits, and ask them for the areas they felt didn’t go so well. It’s rare that someone tells me they are beyond improvement – but once they are open to talking about making changes then I can suggest the things i want to see. I don’t coach at a high level so my goal is to keep my players involved and enjoying the game as much as I do.


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